I Am Evil
by Chibizoo
Summary: Disgruntled of the meaning of life, Ryou embarks on a quest to discover the true meaning of evil. Heh. You wish.


Author's notes:  
  
Disclaimer: I own Yu-Gi-Oh! The characters Ryou, Yuugi, Jounochi, Kaiba, and Pegasus belong  
to me. Honda belongs to some strange guy named Kazuki Takahashi.   
  
This typical "Zoo-fic" originally stemmed from another of my dreams where I was killing someone. I was licking the   
blood off my sword afterwards: blood in dreams doesn't taste very good.   
  
…. You see, I have manipulated you into thinking I'm a deranged person. Life is so easy!   
  
********************************************  
  
"And ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil."  
  
- Genesis, Chapters 2-3  
  
********************************************  
  
I am Evil  
  
  
  
  
In the beginning there was nothing.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Ryou stopped writing after the first sentence. Despite his usual   
fluency around words, he was drawing a blank. To say that Ryou   
was a good writer was to say that Mozart was a good musician. Of   
course, Ryou Bakura was no Mozart, though he did have that hidden   
talent found in roughly ten-percent of the population. Having set that aside,  
Ryou just was a plain and ordinary boy who loved to write.   
  
It happened that upon this very day and moment and hour, and   
heck, even second, Ryou decided that it was very boring, sitting here   
peacefully and undisturbed. The white-haired boy slid from his chair,   
clumsily bumping over a few chairs and other miscellaneous items   
floating around before navigating downstairs to grab a drink. And as he   
poured himself a glass of water on the kitchen table, a loud bang   
suddenly interrupted his peace and quiet. Ryou winced when he heard   
the cursing following the sound, water spilling over his pale hand.   
  
More cursing ensued before the noise thumped upstairs and   
heavily slammed a bedroom door. And Ryou, being the good-natured boy he   
was, continued pouring the glass, waiting until it was exactly three-  
quarters full before taking an experimental sip.   
  
It was one of those extremely hot days outside; enough to parche   
anyone's mouth even after chugging down ten glasses of water. So it was   
certainly hot enough for a white-haired boy wearing a school uniform to   
bathe in his own sweat.   
  
The boy propped his hands against his cheeks, hefting a lonesome   
sigh common in characters like him. Blank cinnamon eyes stared out the   
dust-encrusted window and into an endless azure sky. The birds   
twittered and fluttered their dainty wings while beams of pure sunlight   
shot from the single window like an invitation.   
  
And Ryou concluded that he was a boring person. True his life was   
far from boring; especially when it involved his Yami, but his own   
personal enjoyment of life was dull and uninteresting at best. Of   
course, in situations like these, there was only one thing to do.  
  
Ryou decided that he was going to be evil.   
  
************************************************  
  
Yami-Bakura swore as the object of his concentration and intense   
labour collapsed frailly into a gigantic heap. Right now, his Gundam   
Wing model only reminded him too much a certain white-haired Hikari [2],   
wobbling and wilting under a single touch. Continuing his index of   
profane language, the white-haired Yami bent down to pick up the tiny   
parts scattered over the carpeted floor.   
  
And at that very moment, someone knocked on the door, causing   
Yami-Bakura to jerk in surprise and bang his head against the hard oak table.   
The Yami responded with a plethora of language enough to shame the hardiest gangster.   
  
Another gentler rap preceded the first.   
  
"Come the hell in!" Yami-Bakura roared, pulling himself from the   
floor to salvage some dignity.   
  
The door daintily creaked open, inch by inch, until large brown   
eyes stared from the crack of an opening. "Hi, Yami?"  
  
Yami-Bakura shot his other a wilting death glare. "What is it   
now?"  
  
"I… um…" Ryou lowered his eyes against the floor, voice falling   
into an inaudible whisper.   
  
"Spit it out already!" Came the irritated reply from the Yami,   
currently recollecting his pieces into a semi-organized fashion.  
"I don't have all day!"  
  
Taking a deep breath and summoning all his courage, Ryou tried   
again. "I'vedecidedtobecomeevil."  
  
Yami-Bakura blinked. "Run that over again?"  
  
Another sigh. "I've. Decided. To. Become. Evil."  
  
The Yami wrinkled his brows in confusion. "I must be going deaf,"   
He muttered, "That's what I heard the last time too."  
  
"No." Ryou proclaimed, voice dead serious. "I mean it. I am   
actually evil now."  
  
His statement was rewarded by a serious of loud guffaws. The   
snorts eventually evolved into full-fledged laughter, Yami-Bakura   
rolling on the floor clutching his stomach.   
  
Ryou looked hurt. "It's not funny!" He exclaimed, surprised   
by the reaction. "I had hoped that you would give me some evilness   
tips, but since you're being so uncooperative, I'll just have to ask   
someone else!"  
  
Yami-Bakura stopped laughing, pausing and gaping at Ryou   
for several seconds. In actuality, he was struggling for breath, having   
laughed until his lungs were sore.   
"Look," He rubbed his temples, trying to restrain the fits of   
laughter residing in his throat. "You can't just _ask_ someone how   
to be evil. Evilness is a natural thing, like life and death. To be   
evil, you have to at least have a reason."  
  
Ryou glanced at his Yami, confused. "You mean, _you_ have a   
reason for being evil?"  
  
"I'm exempt." Came the reply, as if that explained everything.   
  
Ryou crossed his arms, trying to look as threatening as possible.   
"Then why can't I be exempt too?"  
  
Yami-Bakura suddenly stood up from his seat, angrily stomping   
towards his other and ripping the door wide open so that he stood face   
to face with Ryou. The Yami clenched his hand in to a firm fist,   
swinging it directly at Ryou's face.   
  
Seconds later, Ryou opened his eyes in astonishment as he felt not a sudden   
throbbing impact but a firm hand stroking his long hair. And his eyes   
literally bugged out as Yami-Bakura embraced Ryou in an amiable hug,   
patting the white-haired boy gently on the back.   
  
Yami-Bakura let go. "There. I just did something good."  
  
"Th-th-that…" Ryou spluttered, speechless and in complete shock,   
the unexpected emotional gesture from his _Yami_ devastating his psyche.   
  
"Exactly." Yami-Bakura nodded, giving the boy a customary painful   
cuff against the cheek to de-stun him. "I cannot be good. And you   
cannot be evil. And that's that."  
  
Having come to that conclusion, the Yami roughly shoved his other   
out of the room, slamming the door loudly behind him.   
  
**********************************************  
  
"Let me get this straight." Yuugi rubbed his forehead with an   
open palm. "You want to be evil, and you're asking _me_?"  
  
"Well, I figured that since you're on the same plane as I am, you   
would at least sympathize," Ryou admitted, taking out his lunch.   
  
"But," Yuugi protested, violet eyes wide and unbelieving, "You   
_can't_ be evil! It just doesn't work!"  
  
Ryou cocked his head questioningly. "Why not?"  
  
"Well, have you done anything evil?"  
  
"I snuck into the girls' changeroom and stole some of their   
undergarments." Ryou replied, puffing his chest proudly.   
  
Yuugi gave the white-haired boy a disgusted look. "Ryou! That's   
not being evil! That's being a hentai [1]!"  
  
Ryou looked confused. "What's a hentai?"  
  
"Never mind," Yuugi dismissed, suddenly leaning closer to the   
white-haired boy so that no stray ears could hear their conversation.   
"By the way, did you happen to get Anzu's?"  
  
******************************************  
  
Jounochi scratched his head. "I dunno," He began, unsure of what   
to say. "I'm not exactly an expert of being evil myself."   
  
"Yeah, I'm sorry." Ryou sighed, standing up to stretch his   
cramped back muscles. "I guess I shouldn't have bothered you in the   
first place."  
  
"If you want my opinion" The blonde-haired boy helpfully supplied,   
"I think you should stop apologizing so much! It really bugs me!"  
  
Ryou winced as Jounochi's last phrase ended in a rough bark.   
"Sorry."  
  
"Yo, Jounochi! You gonna come play?" Honda hollered from across   
the basketball court.   
  
"Aw, man, I gotta go now Ryou." Jounochi stated, "But take care   
okay? And if you need some more tips on evilness or whatever, you   
should try Kaiba or something. I mean that guy is totally evil."  
  
Resisting the urge to correct the grammatical errors within   
Jounochi's dialogue, Ryou waved a goodbye before heading the other   
direction in search for Kaiba.  
  
************************************************  
  
Kaiba couldn't stop laughing. Ryou guessed it had to be a trend   
with _really_ evil people.   
  
The brown-haired boy wiped tears of mirth from his normally   
serious eyes. "You've got to be kidding." He finally exclaimed, "The   
day you become evil is the day I'll stop competing with Yuugi."  
  
"But you don't compete with Yuugi," Ryou added in helpfully, "You   
compete with his Yami!"  
  
A deep blush spread through the young CEO's cheeks before he   
covered it with a serious frown. "Yuugi is my rival, and I won't give   
up until I defeat him!"  
  
"But, but." The white-haired boy protested, "Didn't you already   
defeat him?"  
  
Kaiba chose to ignore the comment, and instead, gazed at Ryou   
with immense sympathy almost unheard of in his deep sapphire eyes.   
"Unless evillness is being the rival of short kids with Millennium  
Puzzles, there really isn't any way I can help you." The brown-haired boy   
shrugged. "For someone like you, I'd recommend Pegasus. He's a regular   
evil pansy."  
  
Ryou politely thanked the CEO, too afraid to ask him exactly what   
a 'pansy' was.  
  
*****************************************  
  
The gigantic castle was every bit as menacing and impressive as   
Ryou had expected. The boy found himself within the walls for a second   
time, walking through velvet carpeted corridors which dripped of dank   
secrets.   
  
"Here we are." The man, simply known as 'Pegasus Henchman #1'   
exclaimed, stopping at a set of double red doors. He gave a nod to the   
white-haired boy before turning around and leaving, disappearing into   
the shadowy darkness.   
  
Swallowing out of nervous fear and excitement, Ryou put a shaky   
hand on the golden handles, pulling the large doors open. The white-  
haired boy finally allowed himself enough space to slip into the doors,   
and he did so quietly, for he did not want to disturb anyone else.   
  
"Come in." A golden flash and a glint of silver glimmered in the   
shadowy darkness, oddly haunting.   
  
Ryou gulped, throat suddenly dry. "Uhm… I wanted to ask-"  
  
"-Me how to be evil." The notorious enemy known as Pegasus   
completed, a smile playing on his half-visible visage. He brushed a   
hand along his long silver hair, flicking it backward to reveal his   
entire face. "I know."  
  
"Okay," Ryou faced the man with grim expectancy. "Can you please   
teach me?"  
  
Pegasus frowned, stepping out of his haven of fruit juice and   
comics books to slowly plod towards the younger boy. "I can tell you,   
but you have to promise not to tell anyone else."  
  
Eager, Ryou nodded. "Of course!"  
  
"Every day I toiled to achieve my ultimate goal, to prove to the   
world my absolute evilness. It took me _years_ before I even began   
devising a plan and by then, I thought others would beat me to it."   
Pegasus started, lamenting his woes.   
  
Ryou listened to every word, enraptured, anticipating.   
  
"And then, one day, I discovered absolute evilness. It was   
unbelievable that it could be achieved so easily, so quickly, so   
efficiently." Pegasus continued, waving his hands in emphasis. "But see   
all that I own now, and I owe it all to this one secret formula."  
  
The creator of Duel Monsters suddenly stopped talking, standing   
there in silence.   
  
"Uhm," Ryou finally spoke up, "Can you tell me now?"  
  
"Sorry," Pegasus suddenly said, shooing the white-haired boy out   
the doorway. "I've run out of time."  
  
"But you said it would be quick!" Ryou protested, his mind   
screaming with curiousity.   
  
"I already told you!" Pegasus giggled, closing the door shut   
behind Ryou as soon as he was forced out the door.   
  
*******************************************  
  
Nighttime found the boy in the darkest parts of the city, wearing   
a long black trenchcoat and holding a smooth metallic object in one   
hand. Ryou grinned maliciously, white hair glinting against the   
moonlight and creating an eerie contrast to his dark leather attire.   
Draped across his tight black vest were layers of silver chains, each   
one longer than the next until they reached the single Millennium Ring,   
currently lifeless and dull.   
  
The white-haired boy broke into a full run, calf-length boots   
clicking hollowly against a broken pavement littered with aged glass   
and torn papers. His sharp eyes spotted his quarry and his hand   
immediately pulled the trigger. Three shots pierced the eerie silence.   
  
The first shot was a perfect hit, the opponent falling in a mass   
of scarlet flesh and gore, blood spewing out from his back and gushing   
several meters to splatter noisily against the pavement. Before the   
already-dead man could fall, the second bullet tore his entire arm, the   
severed limb covered with sticky-warm blood stuck against a wall in a   
pool of crimson.   
  
The white-haired boy re-loaded his gun, grimacing slightly. He   
had somehow been oddly off-aim today, as the third bullet skidded along   
the sidewalk and skewered a passing rat into bloody shards.   
  
...   
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Ryou sighed as he read each of his drafts over. He enjoyed   
writing them, though his peers would complain about the entire plot-character  
inconsistency. _Especially_ his Yami.   
  
So, he decided that there was no such thing as Evil, crumpling up   
his pile of drafts and throwing them into the garbage.  
  
Too bad for his homework assignment.   
  
******************************************************************  
  
  
End notes:  
  
[1] "Hentai" means "Sexually enlightened one (aka. Pervert)"  
  
[2] "Hikari" means "light". It is also a common Japanese girl's name.  
  
I would also like to thank Audacity for such wonderful inspirations, and   
to apologize to any Ryou-lovers out there who are banging their heads against   
the table after reading this. Terribly sorry ^^=. 


End file.
